There’s a recurring thread I’ve seen lately online, whether it’s in the comments here or in a few of the other forae where I lurk: an increasing sense of desperation for a relationship.
As we’re running headlong into the holiday season, it’s only natural for the singletons amongst us to look around at all of the happy couples with a certain level of bitterness and envy. As this goes on, you become increasingly bitter and upset, complaining about the “impossible standards” of others while simultaneously trying to meet or those standards because you know that your life will be incomplete until you find that special someone.
Clinginess and supplication isn’t the only way that neediness expresses itself, however.
Because a part of needy people crave the approval of others for their own self-worth, they will often go out of their way to try to showboat and impress others into liking them.
When you’re single and alone in a season that celebrates relationships and togetherness But because the strongest force in the universe is irony rather than gravity, it can seem that the harder you strive for finding that special someone, the more it slips away from you. The problem is that you’ve fallen into a classic trap: you’ve started becoming desperate and needy. It is the magic formula to make relationships disappear and drive off potential life-partners. Neediness is the state of excessive desire for affirmation, affection or reassurance from others.
It’s melange of issues, involving an external locus of control mixed with low self-esteem and self-limiting beliefs that come together as a constant need for approval from others.
Regardless of how it came about, neediness is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can display.
They are focused on their own perceived inadequacies like a laser and can never believe that they have any good points.
They are forever looking to others for approval, asking over and over again for someone to convince them that they aren’t totally worthless. And yet the need to worship one’s partner – to put them on a pedestal, to elevate them to “goddess” status – is another way of objectifying someone and remove their humanity.
essentially looking for someone to magically bring meaning into their lives and make them whole.
They seek validation from others – in this case, a potential romantic partner – as a way of filling the void within them.